The whole day was full of final packing and excitement (namely that we ACTUALLY finished packing a whole hour before leaving for the airport...a Christmas miracle). We arrived safely at the airport and boarded the flight for our new lives.
Insert, yours truly...
Mom bought Poms and I some colored cups to keep us occupied on the two hour flight, and we were obsessed! The problem is, we BOTH wanted to play with them. This subsequently led to a mini spat, that ended with one particular red cup on the floor.
Insert Apu...(in Hungarian)...
Apu: Hi, I'm really sorry, would you mind grabbing that toy under your seat?
Overweight Pre-Diabetic Hungarian with gold chain necklace: No! You think I'm going to pick up after your misbehaving children??
Apu: Uh. Ok. No problem. (Reaches awkwardly underneath OPDH's seat).
OPDH: (Starts saying something nasty that Apu refuses to translate).
Apu: It's really ok, no would have been a sufficient answer.
Twenty more minutes would pass and mom could see OPDH peering at Apu from behind, and his drunk wheels turning.
Mom warned Apu to not turn his back to this man, because she felt really uneasy and knew (without question) that he was GOING seek revenge. (Thank God we weren't in the US...because this is exactly how gun violence is a thing).
Sure enough, OPDH is the first up after we land and proceeds to pull his bag down onto Apu's head, which misses and hits his bubble butt instead. OPDH is displeased by his subpar performance, and starts with the insults.
Insert mom (who's adreniline was at a 30-year high at this point)...
Let's just say when protecting her children and watching someone assault her best friend, she may have given the most intimidating look from the depths of hell, and said a few things she is not particularly proud of...not that he could understand her...but he definitely caught her drift.
Of course, OPDH would not make eye contact with mom, but then told Apu he was going to push her down the stairs onto the tarmack (thank you, low budget airlines)! Women are not allowed to speak their minds in Hungary, where domestic violence is still widely accepted. Little did he know he was messing with 'Merica (and little did mom know how much dating all those military dudes ACTUALLY influenced her...but, I digress).
Mom also very much realizes that her potty mouth DID NOT help the situation.
Needless to say, people around were completely shocked and horrified (of mom...because the entire plane most likely spoke ENGLISH...*faceplam*). Everyone was pretty ruffled by this threat of violence over a cup.
We all avoided scary guy, stopped at the bathroom to create some distance, but thanks to lines at passport control, passed closely to drunkie, who continued to act aggressively...in the presence of the entire passenger gathering.
Apu: Well, at least you never run out of blog material!!
A few take aways from our experience...
1. Some people are just miserable human beings, which is really sad when you think about it. He probably doesn't have many friends.
2. The other 98% of the population is incredibly nice and reasonable and will come to your defense.
3. Mom is slightly more ghetto fab than anyone realized previously. And also apparently has Apu's back "East County Style."
4. Guns need to be BANNED in the US, because I can almost guarantee this guy would have used one if given the opportunity. Scary, right? Wait, is mom projecting here?
5. Protecting your children is a pretty powerful instinct.
6. Alcohol and nasty attitudes don't mix!
7. Five minutes of craziness can't ruin our excitement for anything!!!
8. Letting go is the best medicine.
We're here in France, ate our obligatory baguettes and get to explore our new apartment in about three hours! We can't wait!!!
It's also Apu's Birthday!!! Whoohoo!! He gets to move furniture!!! Growing up is awesome!
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